The other day I packed up both kids for a trip to the park. It was a beautiful afternoon without rain (which is rare here) and I was determined to have a fun outside adventure. On the way to the car James found a tree whose branches spread out from the ground like a short tree without a trunk. He climbed inside of it, ignoring my calls “James, to the car buddy, lets go!”.
“Shhhh.. mom, I have a secret!”
“A secret? Buddy, come on, we’re going to the park! This way! Are you listening?”
“Mom, I have to tell you a story!”
I sigh...and move around some of the many things I am carrying... carseat....diaper bag...extra coat incase it gets chilly. I stare at him for a minute and he smiles that heart melting smile that he has, as if what I want him to do is of far less importance than what he wants to do. And that is when it hit me. What I wanted him to do WAS far less important than what he wanted to do. My plan was for us to get in the car and ride to the park where we would have a grand time in the sun. And here was my boy, making his own outside fun right here in the green space next to the parking lot at our apartment complex. He didn’t need a fancy playground to find an adventure. I walked over, set Norah’s carseat down in the grass and knelt down next to him. He proceeded to tell me some elaborate story about a little boy and trucks and the zoo. His imagination is blooming these days and I almost missed a moment to witness him growing in play because I was too worried about hurrying to the park. For what? He probably would have had just as much fun right there and I would have been less stressed out because it wouldn’t have required as much planning.
Obviously we have had our fair share of stress lately. So much so for little James that he was throwing up at random times for no apparent reason (other than stress) in the days leading up to and just after our move to Portland. It was heartbreaking for me and thank God that hasn’t happened in weeks but all of it put together is enough to wake me up.
After my realization the other day with James, I remembered a book recommended by my cousin Emily and her husband Jason (thank you guys!) called Simplicity Parenting. I’ve just started it but it seems to resinate with so much of what I’ve been feeling and I am really enjoying it so far.
We have too many other forces causing stress in our lives right now that I need to focus on keeping our home life just that, home. Since we haven’t stayed in one place for very long for the last couple months, I need to be even more intentional in this, for James sake as well as the rest of us.
This is why I am going to stop blogging for a season. I am journaling some, wanting to remember many moments, but I’m going to hold off blogging, Facebook, etc. for awhile. I love all of you who may read this and feel free to email me if you’re curious about how we are. I just have to worry more about our little family unit than anything else right now.
Maybe I will start doing Christmas letters or something...we shall see.
But this is me signing off for a season. Might start up again at some point. I will probably keep doing some Alli Rogers updates just because it's part of my job to keep some sort of online presence. But even that won't be much. Like I said, feel free to email.
